Why We Experience Anxiety
Anxiety is a general term used to describe a mental and physical experience that is familiar at one time or another to most of us. Symptoms such as worry, rumination, irritability, difficulty calming down and sleeping, and feeling uncharacteristically jumpy all constitute an experience of anxiety.
People experiencing multiple stressors, either at home, in relationships, and at work are more likely to experience one or more of these symptoms. Studies show that some of us are more pre-disposed to anxiety because of biological factors such as genetics or through conditioning and learned behaviors.
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model posits that each of us is a Self made up of many parts. These parts are born through our experiences and hold wisdom about our experiences that can help us on the path of life. IFS states that all of our parts are trying to help and that none are bad. However, they do not all share the same goals.
For example, if we have a negative experience in which we part of our personality or identity is ridiculed, another part of us may try to protect us by hiding this aspect of us. People who have been marginalized due to their identity experience this phenomenon often. Each time a perceived threat emerges, our protector parts go into stealth mode. The perceived threat is certainly a stressor that can trigger anxiety. Many of us discuss these experiences in therapy. But there’s more to learn.
With time and age, we unconsciously trust the protector parts, and the marginalized parts, that seek belonging and care, are further exiled. In therapy, I often find clients struggling with this experience. They feel sad, alone and distressed, a reflection of their wounded part. They also feel anger, aversion and annoyance toward that part, an attempt to further mask aspects of themselves that they’ve deemed unacceptable. These thoughts and feelings are a source of consistent inner conflict and represent a potential to experience symptoms of generalized anxiety including rumination, irritability, worry and frustration.
In sessions with clients, I often utilize the IFS model to provide education about parts, to discuss the notion that none are bad and to restore harmony between them. We use mindfulness tools to enhance emotional awareness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to explore deep-seated beliefs born out of our experiences, and EMDR to help ease the emotional or psychological stress that is manifesting today due to past difficulties.
We can often tell right away when harmony is restored. More on this another time.
If you are experiencing internal conflict in the form of shame or self-judgement, let’s work together to better understand and move beyond this difficulty.